Good day,

I’m in need of counselling .I’ve been in a serious relationship for about 19 months now
It has been a good one and I’m grateful to God that I met him.I can boldly say that I’m a better person because of him.

I met him through my mom’s ‘friend’ who happened to be his sister in law. She’s actually a complicated person and has been uncomfortable with the fact that the relationship is thriving. We actually did not let that affect us not until she started poisoning my mom’s mind against him.

I actually didn’t see any reason to be worried cos I’ve been praying and my boo tries his best to reassure me of the future we have together by God’s grace.

Lately, he has not been coming to visit my family like he used to, …and that’s due to some pressure at work and all(he got a new job and he’s preparing for a major exam)… in spite of that, he makes sure he sees me every weekend and tries to always be there for me.

He said it last weekend that he knows my mom might be having doubts already cos he’s not around like he used to…not knowing that my mom would bring it up last night right after church

She called and started talking about ‘marital delay(I’m 26 years by the way) that she sees my boo as being deceitful and that she has been ‘praying’. She said that my boo doesn’t make out time for me… whereas because of her attitude towards him of late, I don’t even let her know when we go out or when we see each other.

All this is mainly because of the things my boo’s sister in law says to her (at least that’s what I think )

It’s funny because this is someone that has supported us many times after I lost my dad last year… he tries his best. I simply told her that the way she’s seeing it. ..it’s not how it is. This is a man that stands by me, supports me, helps me improve in my career and all. Yes no one is perfect but he has been good to me

Meanwhile, I’ve never really liked my mom’s mentality towards relationship and marriage, I love her, she’s my mom, she inspires me in so many ways but just not in that aspect.

My only worry here is how do I change her orientation about him? I’ve started praying and all but I don’t know if I should discuss this with him as well?

When I was posted by my company to Kaduna, the first thing that came to my mind was to reach out to Clement who lived there. Clement and I were both classmates in secondary school. He went to the university and graduated years before I gained admission. I called him and he was glad to hear from me.
“Eddy, abeg show for KD fast. You go enjoy this place pass that dirty smelling Lagos wey you dey.” He told me in a very jubilant manner. “When we go dey expect you?”
I told him I was coming in a few days and he was glad to hear that.
I sold off most of the things I had in Lagos and off I went to Kaduna two weeks later. Now, Clement had no idea what I was worth when I came to Kaduna because I never showed him that I had anything. He had no idea that I had over thirteen million naira in my bank account and because I was not the kind of person who was crazy about flamboyant lifestyles, I did not let them know anything about my financial status.
Clement lived in a house he inherited from the father. He was married with two children. I told him I was going to spend a few days with them when I arrived.
“Why few days Eddy?” he mumbled as he led me into my room. “This is large enough a house to accommodate you and us. At least save your salary for a few months before you think of renting a house.”
His wife, Patricia was quite accommodating too. She was a nursing mother with two kids; the first a boy of four, while the second was a baby girl of about eight months old. I loved the reception I got from her the first day. It was quite warm and pleasant. She prepared very delicious jollof rice which we all ate that night with considerable appetite.
I was to resume work a week later. So the next day, I decided to take a walk round the neighbourhood as my friend had gone to work. His wife was preparing to go to the market when I strolled out of the house. Her son had gone to school.
“Let me take a walk around the environment and feed my eyes.” I told her.
“Okay then,” she winked at me. “You might not meet me. Just put your hand in the bucket outside and remove the key.”
It was while I was walking out of the house that I noticed that the house beside theirs was for sale. I saw a phone number on a sign post and decided to call the agent.
“That house na three million naira last.” The agent told me.
“Is there anyone in the house so I could have a look at it?” I asked.
The agent told me that a young man with his wife lived in the house.
“He will pack out if dem buy am,” the agent told me.
I went to check the house out and I really liked it. My girlfriend, Fedora was definitely going to like it too. She was in Ife for the NYSC scheme.
The man who was living in the house and his wife were just tenants at will. I was made to understand that he was the painter that painted the house. But for the benevolence of the landlord, they would have been thrown out long ago. So I was told. However, they were a very nice couple. I felt at home with them as they took me round the compound.
“Thank you very much,” I thanked the painter as he and I exchanged handshakes where we both parted along the road.
That evening when I returned after my walk around town, I met my friend and his wife wearing long faces. Suddenly, they became rather aloof.
It was at the dinner table later that night that I found out what had happened.
“My wife said she saw you talking with our neighbour this morning,” Clement said breaking the close to ten minutes old silence that had ensued between us both.
I was going to tell him why I had gone to see their neighbour but no sooner had I opened my mouth than he quickly challenged repulsively.
“Eddy, you are new here and should ask questions before you associate with some people. We are not in good terms with those people..”
My mouth opened wide in bewilderment. “Why? Clement, what happened to you? You used to associate with everybody..”
“That was then Eddy. I am a grown man now and I now know what is good for me.”
Listening to him that night made me sick. I wanted to tell him about my decision to buy the house but declined when he told me that only one amongst the eight houses around him was in good relationship with them. According to him, all the other neighbours were rude and did not usually greet his wife.
I told him that as his neighbours he must try to make peace with them.
“Please try and eschew hatred and strife. Make peace with your neighbours because the only time you are in control of is now. What happens the next minute isn’t yours to handle. If we have no control over the future, why then should we fight with people around us who could be useful to us tomorrow?”
He shook his head as I nspoke; “Eddy, these neighbours are not the kind of neigbours you have in Lagos. These ones are irredeemable. Just avoid them as long as you live here.”
The more I tried to rationalize why he had said that, the more difficult it was for me. In the end, I decided to let the sleeping dog lie. Three days later, I paid for the house and began to renovate it without my friend knowing about it. I wanted it to come as a surprise. The agent got me an engineer and an interior decorator. These two did a nice job as all I had to do was to pay them to make the house very comfortable and beautiful for me.
Before the house was ready for me to move in, my company gave me a new car. When I brought it home, I was surprised at my friend’s reaction that night.
“I work for a useless company.” He said indignantly. This is my ninth year with them and they are waiting for me to remind them that I am due for promotion and given a car.”
I told him that one day it would come as a big surprise to him. However, that night I began to think of buying him a small car. He was my friend and needed to be as happy as I was. The next day, I called the agent to help me look for a fairly used car.
“E get one of my cousin wey want to sell im own but he travel for him sister wedding. Na clean car. You go like am.” The man replied.
I was glad to hear that the car was a Toyota Corolla. I knew my friend was going to be surprised when I would give him the keys.
That evening when I returned from work, I decided to open up to them that I was the new owner of the house next to them but was shocked to my bone marrow at the level of envy they openly displayed.
“Why did you not tell me that you wanted to buy a house?” my friend flared up crossly. “Did you know how many years I have spent in this town? Anyway, congratulations.”
I really could not fathom why Clement would behave in that manner towards me. It made me sick. This was not the Clement I used to know. Why would he let envy eat him up that way?
That night as I packed my things all by myself and left to my building, He and his wife could not help me move a pin or even come to see what the house looked like. I still did not feel bad about what they did. I just felt that when I surprised him with the car, he was going to change.
Two days later, I bought the car and gave it to a mechanic to service it. I was going to give my friend the car the next day but I was surprised when I returned that evening and noticed that firewood, huge ones had been gathered at the spot where I used to pack my car. It was part of their land. My house had a small gate. I must widen it before I could drive in. And since it was where I had already been parking my car, I found a spot near the firewood and parked there. I went to knock on their door to know what happened but the wife refused to open when she pulled the curtain and saw my face. She could not even respond to my greetings. I felt terrible.
The next day when I returned from work and went to the mechanic, he told me that the radiator of the car was faulty and needed to be fixed. I really wanted to quickly hand it over to my friend to put smiles on his face. I gave hime the money for repairs.
“Oga, abeg make sure say the car ready tomorrow abeg,”
“E go ready sir,” the mechanic assured.
But at home, I got another shocker. My friend and his wife had dug a pit at the exact spot where I had managed to park the previous day. Upon enquiry from people around, I was told that the pit was a soak away.
“Soak-away?” I was shocked because they had a big soak-away in the compound. Why the sudden need for another?
That night, I found somewhere to park the car and after that I stopped bothering myself about them. I did not go to the mechanic again even though he called to tell me that the car was ready.
Two weeks later, I was having a bath when I looked through the window and saw my friend’s son playing on top of the firewood gathered in front of the soak-away which was now half filled with dirty smelling water. Suddenly, I saw the wood slack and the young lad went crashing into it.
With the speed of light, I ran out madly with only a towel around my waist. I did not know when I dived into the pit and dragged out the drowning young fellow. A neighbour who was a nurse immediately began to attend to the boy when I brought him out of the water. He was convulsing. My friend’s wife was crying like a baby in my car as I sped to the hospital minutes later. The nurse still followed us with her first aid box to the hospital.
It took divine intervention with three weeks at the hospital to revive the child. That pit has now been covered. My friend and his wife have gone round asking neighbours for forgiveness. I am still thinking whether to still give him the car.
I have learnt a lot these few months. We are nothing without people. This is why we must not think we are just okay with ourselves and need nobody. We are all important. Sometimes they people you think you don’t need might be the ones to rescue you when you are in danger.
It is for this reason that we must value our peaceful coexistence irrespective of our tribe, creed or religion. if people hold no grudge against you or do not mean you for evil, don’t fight them because you will be fighting God Himself and you can never emerge victorious when you fight the God of the innocent.
.
THE NEIGHBOURS by Japheth Prosper

(a true story)

Bro Samuel stood up with his eyes red like a burning flame
His legs weren’t on the ground again because the realm he was praying from is no longer the natural realm.

The room began to turn around
The sounds of many voices like the wave of many waters.

For we wrestle not against flesh and blood but against principalities and powers, against rulers of darkness in the heavenly places.

Bro Samuel switched from praying to chanting scriptures and there came a dark cloud, the roof of his room was removed the ground began to shake but the mighty intercessor has been suspended on the rock of ages which can never be moved.

The cloud cleared off and the face was unveiled, behold the beautiful Lizzy with horns on her head, her tongues with the venom of a serpent, and her tail like that of another snake, her fingers like that of another wicked creature, her eyes as big as what mouth can’t describe.

Then sister Lizzy began to ask
Who are you
What is your own business in this matter
Who sent you
Were you there when the foundation of the earth began
Were you there when the Lucifer descended with the host of angels
Were you there when your prayer cord entered the covenant with me
Were you there when he held my hands
Were you there when our mouth entered agreement
Were you there when we exchange our blood

Oh what a noted point she made but the holy ghost came upon the intercessor so strong and he responded….

I stand in the position of my leader
I speak to you by his spirit
I have entered the ancient covenant
I have my place in the heavenly places
I am far above principalities and powers
The blood of Jesus speaketh better things than the blood of Abel
I drain my blood from your blood
I inject into you the fire of the holy ghost

The battle just changed to another level.

*Lizzy responded, EXCEPT he didn’t lie upon my chest*

Ah-yaya-yaya 🔥 🔥 🔥

this statement got bro Samuel down but suddenly the holy ghost spake unto him, speak the word the more

Then he responded and said I agreed with you and you are right, now hear me

*But he was wounded for our transgressions, he was bruised for our iniquities: the chastisement of our peace was upon him; and with his stripes we are healed.* 🔥

At the completion of the above……

There came the flame of a burning light, the light as in a human form, a creature with a burning sword, with the sound of victory, suddenly, bro Samuel was no more in the scene, the battle is of the Lord, oh what a night of war

When the angel appeared, he held bro Samuel hand and touched his ears saying son
This is a spirit from the deeper part of dark ream, your prayer cord was sent from heaven to raise men and women of prevailing prayers but his presence has been a huge problem in the realm of darkness.

Every time he leads prayer, no demon can rest again, no evil spirit can move, he always pray even when he’s asleep.

But the strategy was planned the hour he slept at the wrong time

Yet a little sleep, a little slumber, a little folding of the hands to sleep, So shall thy poverty come as one that travelleth, and thy want as an armed mamons of demons came in at that hour, if he had discern and call light its name, the light wouldn’t have went off.

*Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil, as a roaring lion, walketh about, seeking whom he may devour*

Son of man, says the angel, what is this in my hand, he responded, a sword, take from me
And he stretch forth his hand and took the sword, and the angel said to him, cut the head of this leviathan.
He did and conquer the demon and the Angel said to him
Take up your lamentation and go tell your prayer cord as fast as possible and go pray for him for he will be restored again.

So bro Samuel took off like a spirit and ran to the prayer cord.

The prayer cord had repented and something happened immediately he repented just before bro Samuel got to his place

Bro Samuel got to his house and knocked the door but nobody opened, he kept knocking the door but he refused to open

No sound
No voice
No one responded

What is happening says bro Samuel.

He forced the door open and when he entered, the prayer cord had departed from the earth realm

The mighty one is off

The man of prayer just transcend into the realm of immortal
Oh what a sinful world 🤦‍♂

After bro Samuel saw this, he didn’t scream, he didn’t say anything.
He short the door and hooked it at back.

*Oh what a confident intercessor*

Bro Samuel, a mighty intercessor knelt down beside him and began to pray prayers and suddenly he remembered the last word of the angel

*Go and pray for him for he will be restored*

Suddenly, bro Samuel took off in the spirit and entered into the realms of immortal.

After three says of prayer and operations of the spirit, the prayer cord rose again and bro Samuel returned with him. 🙌

Oh what new man
Oh what new garment
The mighty one is back again
The fresh oil is here again.

*Lessons for all*

1. The devil is watching you the same way God is watching you, a minute step out of the realm of God is a minute stepping into the realm of sin

The Bible says, walk in the spirit and yee shall not fulfil the lust of the flesh.

2. *Build men because they will stand for you in the days of your test and trial*

3. Repentance is not the same as sympathy

4. Always be sober and be vigilant

5. Keep praying for your spiritual leaders

6. Never forget the hand that once fed you

7. Be discerning, no matter whom you are.

9. If you want to operate in a strange dimensions of spiritual operations, be an intercessor.

10. Than you build men, build yourself so that you will build men correctly.

Thanks for following
*Prof Shadrack*

Rainbows set out and the lightning spark.

People were weeping as she began to sing but the prayer cord was crying to not because of the move but because of the previous pleasure of sin.

The move of God never change the way it comes when she hold the mic, the same presence came and the system of His operations still goes on.

She led the worship for 30 minutes and the prayer cord was to take over. So mount the pulpit and took the mic.

That prayer machine, that presence drawer, that mighty man, oh the great one has fallen.

Come again o Lord, for thy people await thee, move again o Lord for thy people expect thee, angels where art thou, blow the wind again that brethren may know that you are here.

That was the heart crying of the prayer cord, the cloud was silent, the atmosphere was silent, the ground shakes no more.

I want to see you
Like a mighty rushing winds
I want to dwell under the shadow of your winds
Blow blow blow
Like a mighty rushing winds
Spirit of victory
Cover us with your wind

He sang the song but had no response even from heaven

He began to struggle to call down the presence of God.

He was sympathising for himself but never repented of his sin.

*Sympathy is not the same as repentance*

Why does the presence came when sister Lizzy held the mic but nothing move when the prayer cord held the mic?

The sender of individual is responsible for the move of the presence.

We thought it was God that was moving when sister Lizzy held the mic

We thought the brethren were crying because of God’s presence

We thought it was the heaven that came down during her worship session.

The congregation weren’t happy to see the result of the prayer cord after so much expectations.

The meeting ended
The brethren took off
The guest returned home.

Oh wonderful Wednesday
Oh happy Brethren came again
Desire to ascend
Desire to pray because the driver of this move has arrived but no one knows that the prayer cord had lost the key on the bed of iniquity.

Who shall deliver us from our secret fault

Sister Lizzy began the worship session, everybody were weeping and crying because the move is here again but no one could have time to discern the cloud and discern the moves because they believe those leading them.

The man of prayer came up as of old, he held the mic and began to chant. 🔥🔥🔥

Oh where cometh thou wind
What changes the cloud
The brethren suddenly became cold and the prayer became so cold.

The presence couldn’t come
The brethren couldn’t ascend

What is happening, says bro Samuel within his mind.

Bro Samuel was a man of depth and understanding who had gain access into the realms of God and the heart of men, he was gifted with the strange gift of discerning into the past and future, he was a great intercessor.

This became a mighty burden upon him and he began to pray and fast together with two other brethren.

His eyes got opened and he saw the reality behind the operations of sister Lizzy.

Oh who is this damsel
Oh who is this beautiful lady
Oh what could this be

He began to see sister Lizzy the more he prayed.

He was alone that night, praying and interceding for his prayer cord.

Suddenly, he heard a sound from behind him.

What is your business in this matter?

He was silent and asked who are u?

He looked back and saw a huge black entity with horn on the head.

Bro Samuel stood up with his eyes red like a burning flame
His legs wasn’t on the ground again because the realm he was praying from was beyond the natural realm.

The room began to turn around
The sounds of many voices………….

To be continued…

*

Uncle chibuzor happened to be our prayer cord.
When he prays, lighting spark, thunder strike.
His prayer life is so much admiring, his way of praying is like that of the Elijah we read about.

Everybody love to see Uncle chibuzor leading prayer, because whenever he held the mic, we are set to pray.

We always know when we start to pray, but the time we stop nobody knows.
.uncles Chibuzor has ushered us into realms and dimension of spiritual operations, we all begin to pray on our own without anyone telling us to pray.
Prayer becomes our daily doze and a our must do activity every time.

Our coming together every Wednesday to pray is always a thing of joy because we all know that we are traveling that night, whenever we choose to bend the kneels, even the head bow, the sound of our prayer is a sound of groaning, our method of ascending into prayer realms is as that of solemn sound that only immortal men can comprehend.

Our life changed like day and night.

Our holidays at home always terrifies the principality and powers in our territories

Mummies and daddies desired us to come home often but we love to stay because when we stay we love to pray.
The impart of our prayer cord has transformed our lives and renew our strength.
Every fellowship wanted to see uncle chibuzor praying , so many programs are organized that he may come to lead prayers.
.chains are broken at the sound of his voice, demons cried out when he holds the mic.
The ground shakes, the walk crack because and ambassador from heaven is chanting.

One day, aunty Lizzy came into the fellowship.
Her beauty is that of a yellow mango, her voice sounds like that of a speaking string, her posture calls attention, who is he that behold her beauty and look away without a minutes distraction.

She joined the fellow worship team, her mode of worship draw men to worship God, she sound so spiritual that we all do feel the presence of angels.

How wonderful was that night she led the worship before the prayer cord took the mic.

The wonders and the beauty of that night was an amazing wonder everyone can’t deny.

The closeness started, the relationship began and the system of operations took a new dimension.

Who will not think to have her as a partner in ministry, who will not love to hold her hand in marriage.

More invitation came in so powerful. And Every time the prayer cord goes out to minister, sister Lizzy the Angelic voice follows.

The last invitation that came was from the north in the city of Zaria and it happens to be a vigil meeting.

The guest ministers arrived the hotel booked for them, they ate and they enjoy their meal.

The organizer booked two rooms for them to stay, but just before they go to rest, the had to be together at the dining table.

Sister Lizzy demanded the prayer cord attention to let them have some time to pray together.

Uncle chibuzor agreed so that the meeting will go smoothly and heaven will come down.

The prayer began and the Nepa took light, the phone was not near, the touch was at the other side.

Both were searching for a means of lightning the room, unconsciously, his hand passes through her chest and here came a silent voice saying (ouch) like of Jenifer

What a sweet touch unto him, the touch came again and the hand remain on the spot.

Oh, what a mighty night of experience.

Oh sound of melody
Oh thou solemn hymn

To be continued……..

As I think back on the relationships I’ve had in my life, I feel blessed. Blessed to have experienced them.

I’ve had work relationships that were for a reason.

I’ve had ex’s and friendships that were for a season.

…And I have people in my life now that I pray are there for a lifetime.

I had to learn to see each relationship as not so much a devastating loss, but this wonderful experience I was so fortunate to have in the first place.

No one likes to think of their relationship as temporary , but the truth is… people enter our lives for a reason, season, or a lifetime. When we try to force relationships beyond their purpose, we will only end up disappointed.

How do you figure out which one it is? We may never know, but hopefully this helps.

A Reason

You may be thinking, well everyone is in your life for a reason right?

Well this is true, but when someone is in your life just for a particular reason . . . It is usually to meet a need you or they have prayed for.

God has sent them or you to assist through a difficulty, to provide with guidance and support, to aid physically, emotionally, or spiritually. They are there only for the reason God need them to be or vice versa.

Then, without any wrong doing on your part, the relationship will come to an end. Sometimes you just drift apart. Sometimes God will remove them from your life completely. You may not understand it and it may even be hard to let go.

What we must realize is that the need has been met, the desire has been fulfilled, the work is done. The prayer has been answered and now it is time to move on.

A Season

Sometimes we find ourselves in difficult seasons, because of our own doing. Making poor decisions, not praying to God for direction before making important decisions.

Examples of this are bad money management, neglecting your health, and choosing to be in ungodly relationships that do not align with God’s word.

When people come into your life for a season . . . It’s usually to help you grow, or to teach you a lesson. They may teach you something you may have never learned had it not been for this particular season.

Many will say that seasons bring eye opening experiences. They usually give you a new perspective on life.

Whenever you find yourself going through a tough season, remember God is not punishing you. Sometimes He has to allow us to grow and learn through our poor decisions in order for us to grow closer to Him.

It may hurt or feel as though the pain will never stop. But remember, it’s only for a season.

A Lifetime

Lifetime relationships are a gift from God. Cherish them. These are the relationships you are blessed to have until one of you take your last breath. (Family , friends , your spouse. etc.)

Don’t get me wrong, just because they are God sent, does not mean they are always going to be easy breezy. All relationships take effort on both parts.

Somedays you will probably feel like the relationship is not worth it. Other times you will feel thankful that God has placed them in your life.

Think about the people in your life over the years. Whether they were there for a reason, a season or a lifetime, accept them and treasure them for however long they were meant to be part of your life.

…Or as Dr. Seuss once wrote: “Don’t cry because it’s over. Smile because it happened.” Perhaps one of my favorite quotes ever!

“After our wedding a sister started calling my husband. She will even pray for us on the phone and advise him like a good sister. Some weeks later my husband asked me to follow him to a friend’s office, that the friend wants to give us our wedding present because she missed our wedding. I followed him to her office, we spent hours and she was just running Helter skelter, opening and closing her drawers till we finished the soft drinks she offered us and left without any wedding present as she promised.
One evening my husband asked me to follow him to some where, that a friend invited him over. So we drove to town. To my greatest surprise it was the same sister in the Lord, in her dimly light room with the blues playing and her anointed body hug. That day she didn’t even offer us any drink and no meaningful conversation. She was just fiddling with her phone all through then we left. She reduced the rate at which she calls because each time she calls my husband will make sure he gives me the phone to greet her even though he did not explain anything to me, I already caught the joke and was so proud of him.
Finally, we were sleeping one night around 11pm. This sister called, that she was stranded on the road with 5 other sisters that the anointing program dismissed so late and they could not get transport back to town that my husband should please help them. I heard her clearly in the loud silence of the night. My husband got up, sat for sometime before tapping me. He begged me that I should please accompany him. Honestly it was a very big disturbance to my sleep but I just had to get up. As we got close to the junction she mentioned, I was busy looking out for a group of ladies only to see one person standing there like a ghost. She was even carrying her very big sized Bible. Immediately my husband stopped, she rushed to hop into the front seat where I was perfectly glued. My dear husband then directed her to move to the back seat. As we dropped her at her gate, she was so furious to the extent she couldn’t say thank you and bluntly refused to respond to the goodnight I managed to greet her. I watched my husband as he silently smiled till we got home. Since then she has not called again” from her story she thought us that

1. It is not easy for these our husbands especially the ones that are good looking and can feed themselves.
2. it doesn’t matter how sanctimonious the sister might pretend to be, the devil can use anyone.
3. Don’t overgeneralize that all men just love cheating, some of these ladies never give up easily.
4. When you don’t pray for your spouse, expect anything in your marriage.
5. Be there for your spouse always, you don’t need much arguments and accusations all the time, just your companionship is enough in most cases.

Some of us might conclude that she was just lucky to have such a dedicated husband, but believe me, you too are lucky. So always pray for your spouse and be there for him or her.

Source, unknown.

Ask an average Nigeria girl to Explain her dream husband; First, she will mention “God fearing” in order not to sound so worldly but then she begins to add worldly Requirements like “he has to be tall, handsome, rich, owns a house, has one car at least and be presentable.”
If you all the number of girls saying this and the number of men that meet that standard, you will see why there is a phrase like “Husband Scarcity”.
You hear girls say, “I cannot go and suffer in a man’s house o.” But what if from the beginning, you have everything you want and there is no suffering, but later in the marriage, the table turns around, then comes suffering? Will you run away?
No one prays for suffering, but it is better to start small and get big, than start big and get small.
The description most ladies give of their ideal man is virtually the same.
When many girls want the same kind of men and the men that fit what they want are very few, what becomes of the many other girls left without their dream men? Husband Scarcity.
In Africa, we have more women than men but to make it worse, 6 out of 10 men will only get married after 30 years; while 6 out of 10 ladies wish to get married before 30. Husband Recession.
The poor rate of marriage has become one of the biggest challenges faced by many ladies today. No prayer session in any church is complete without prayers for women seeking husband.
One easy way to find a husband is to change your view of who a husband is. A husband is that man God made full of dreams, responsibilities and purpose and knowing man couldn’t achieve his purpose in life without a help mate, God made the woman and gave to him.
Marriage has never been a poverty alleviation program. It is a union of two with same goals and mission to fulfil the will of God here on earth.
Women are home builders not house warmers. Don’t mistake a man’s path for his destination. Where that guy is today may only be a route to where God has destined him to be tomorrow and the bitter truth is that you might be the tool he needs to achieve greatness.
Pick up the right values today.

© Written by Olarotimi

hello …..

Please advice me.

This is a very difficult situation for me. So my friend Peter (not real name) has a girl that he has been in a relationship with for like 2 years. This girl is fine and very warm. Very good girl right…

The problem is that Peter is a jerk. He always treats her like a jerk, still messing with other girls. I know Peter,he has always been like that so I was shocked when this nice girl stuck with him for two years going own.

My issue now is that they have broken up one time cos of his jerkiness.

That period,I thought I could shoot my shot. For three weeks,I was friendly with her. I like her and i think I am falling for her. But I couldn’t tell her.

She sees me as a very good friend but I want her for more than that. But you know the bro code:

never to date your guy’s ex. So I maintained. Unfortunately,they got back together. This really hurt me and I decided to give them space. I underestimated how much I cared for her.

Now,she is always asking me what the problem is. She chats with me but I do not respond to her. One night,we sent me like over 200 messages of how my guy keeps messing up. I just sent her a response that I cannot understand why she is sticking with me when she knows who he is.

She replied cos,she does not know if anyone would ever love her. I replied that I love her. She said she knows like a brother right…I told her no..like a lover…she was quiet. I blew her an emoji kiss.

She replied with another emoji kiss. I asked her what she thinks,she says she loves me too and would break up with this my friend to be with me.

Ma

Sir,I do not play. I love this girl. If she be with me,its for marriage. That is for sure. My only worry now is,my friend and I would never have the same friendship anymore. I mean,I have known him since secondary school days.

What should I do: should I act on my feelings for his girl and loose his friendship for ever?

Or should I just let this girl go. I know Peter will never marry her sha. He is not the marrying type.

What should I do?

Someone once asked me, “Why do good women end up marrying bad men while spoilt, rotten brats go home with the enviable, godly guys?” I smiled.

These “good” women are most times who psychologists call sanguines/ phlegmatics. They are the soft spoken, gracious, easy going, gentle, always smiling, never hurt a fly and never angry type of women. They are the kind of women who would never retaliate when anyone hurts them. They bear pressure sweetly no matter how boiling it is and will never oppose you or tell you NO!

Though these women appear great on the surface, they have major weaknesses and the chief of them is stubbornness. They have the will of an iron! If they are virgins as singles, they add pride to their feathers which make them self opinionated, myopic, proud, selective and adamant, these weaknesses are the exact reasons they marry wrong! Almost all san/phleg, phleg/san women I know marry wrong husbands and suffer greatly in the marriage!

Most of them appear religious though they are shallow and do not have a deep intimate relationship with Christ, hear Him clearly and pick the right man. Their pride and stubbornness also make them deaf to correction and wise counsel. Though the whole world tell them the man they are marrying is wrong for them, they are hell bent on marrying him! They do this passively though. They will smile sweetly, tell you they’ve heard what you said and do the exact opposite. Once a san/phleg’s mind is made up, only the God of heaven can change it!

In marriage, they continue with their weaknesses of being proud and stubborn, driving their husbands mad and they are masters at nagging to the point of infuriating the man who may end up beating them!

The “bad” women are usually the cholerics. These are the hard drivers, goal getters who are blunt, straight forward and do not take nonsense! Because they have practical minds and know exactly what they want, they go home with their opposites: the gentle phlegmatic guys whose gentleness melt their hearts making them submissive and loving towards their husbands.

Character is what determines whether someone is good or bad, it’s not the face, charisma or the personality displayed in public!

Some women look so gentle and innocent outside but inside they are snakes!They are more wicked than vampires and bite at any slight provocation!

Some women look tough but are very soft, accommodating and tender at heart.

And there are women who are soft on the surface and still soft at heart, likewise women who are hard on the surface and still wicked at heart. There are good san/phleg women, likewise bad cholerics. Let God show you the real person you are marrying.

You can’t use looks to judge who a good wife is. “For man looks at the outward appearance but God looks at the heart”. That is why you seriously need to pray as a young man to know who God’s will is for your life. If you use your little brain to pick a bride, you will fail miserably!

Marriage is not a child’s play. Get close to God and let Him pick the best for you. You will not mischoose in Jesus name. God bless you. Cheers!
© Seun Oladele, 2017 ; re-posted, 2019.